Single at Christmas
Christine below told me she'd like to get involved in writing, so read on................
Single at Christmas Christmas is here again and yes I am still single! Great, fabulous and cool! NOT! There are 3 times of the year when it sucks to be single: 1. Valentines day! 2. Your birthday! 3. Christmas and New Year!
These are the times when all you want to do is spend time with a loved one, who you can share those special moments with. Family is obviously the next best thing but no offence mum, it’s not the same! Its bad enough dating and being single anytime and at Christmas there’s even more pressure, but try dating, being single and 6ft tall!
Here is my story:
I know generally humans are getting taller nowadays than what they used to be, but when you’re my age (thirty something) it is quite hard to find a bloke taller than me. Some of my smaller friends have managed it, I have a girlfriend who is 5ft 8ish and has a boyfriend of just over 6ft. And whenever I go out I always (well nearly always) see a small girl with a big man. It’s not fair! Its not that I am heightist or anything , I have in the past gone out with smaller men and have had some great times, don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with shorter men, that a couple of inches wouldn’t fix. And I mean height wise! Men are men I hear you say, size doesn’t matter its what you do with it that counts. Well that’s another thing! For later maybe…
Its just that when you lean down for a lovely smoochy kiss and its going well, then after a while your neck starts to ache and you find yourself trying to stand more comfortably then it just ruins the whole moment! And yes I have tried all the other ways which at first in a new relationship can be quite funny and quirky. Like standing them on boxes and stools, only kissing sitting down or leaning back on a table or wall. But after a while it can get a bit annoying. And when people say to me “Everyone is the same height lying down!” they have obviously never tried doing it with a pygmy…
When you’re lying there with the mans eyes level with your boobs, he may be happy but I would like a little kissy kissy. My neck ends up sore and I end up after a couple of weeks looking like The Hunch Back of Notre Dame! And when you’re all curled up after wards cuddling and you feel his feet lying around your knees, after the initial lust filled feeling of a new relationship, it leaves me cold. Obviously I haven’t found the right man yet as my friends keep telling me. “When you do it won’t matter how tall he is you’ll love him for who he is.” Well maybe they are right and it won’t matter one (little) bit. Or just maybe after that initial feeling wears off again as it does and the love thing starts to rear it ugly head. You might find me shopping for stilts, men’s platform shoes or even for cosmetic surgery on how much it would cost to get a couple of inches taken out of my legs. They say it only takes a year or so to recover and the pain well, its character building!
Don’t get me wrong I like being tall and I am proud of it, but sometimes like when I was younger and at school being the tallest one in class always made me stand out, when all I wanted to do was shrivel up in a corner somewhere. I was very shy and didn’t know quite what to do with these long limbs of mine. I must of fallen over millions of times and still have the scars on my knees to prove it.
The school disco was a nightmare. I don’t know which was worse, not being asked to dance or being asked and then having to stand up from my chair in front of him and seeing his eyes widen when he lifts them to mine thinking “What have I done?” Then we dance for a bit and when the song ends I don’t know who was the more relieved him or me fleeing from the floor in different directions. Then the back pain would kick in from my trying to bend ever so slightly sideways or from stooping, doing my infamous hunchback impression.
It took many years for me to get the confidence that I needed to wear heels and to stand up straight and proud. But now I have, its just that this can often come across as arrogance and when all the men around you are on average half a foot smaller than you I just can’t win. However, I am tall and proud and am also an old romantic and so open to offers from allsorts of society. From all colours to all sizes hoping that one day I will meet my soul mate and live happily ever after!.
Although God if you are reading this please, for my chiropractor’s bills, please make him taller than me, I will do anything! Within reason….. So Merry Christmas to you all, I hope that it is all you long for. Especially you singletons.
x
Christine
